For weeks, Emerson had felt something amiss. The premonition fermented
like the smell of Uncle Lib’s currant wine wafting up the moldy
outside cellar stairwell, leaving a sour-sweet air pocket over the
hollyhocks and larkspur. Something was seeping from the ground up.
Illa Rae spoke it first behind her register at Kramer’s Pharmacy.
"Just how much more can this town take?"
"I’m telling you, girl. It’s bad." Mutt shook his head as
he leaned against the counter. "They say it’s going to be just
like the thirties."
"Who’s they?" Illa Rae snapped as she rang up Emerson’s
pharmaceuticals.
"You know. They."
"Well, all I know is that maybe we ought to have us a
straighten-out day. Like they do in the cities. A ‘Let’s–boost–everybody’s–spirit–day.’
The kind they write about in the USA Today. What do you think,
Emerson?"
Passing her a twenty, Emerson gave his usual shrug and avoided Illa Rae’s
eyes. Answering such a wide-open question meant moving past the armor
built around his mind into the soft part where it all got muddled.
Illa Rae smiled. Like most folks in Alma, she understood Emerson was
incapable of connecting thoughts into spoken phrases. The
forty-five-year-old farmer carried a fine head where he stored, but
couldn’t pour forth, his brilliance. Except for an occasional blink,
Emerson’s facial muscles emitted nothing, not even a twitch.
Mutt rolled a toothpick along his empty gums. "Say, Emerson, you
gonna display them mechanical toys of yours at the county fair this
year?"
Emerson nodded.
"I tell my grandson that if we took an X-ray of your head, there’d
be nothing but gears."
Giggling, Illa Rae handed Emerson change. "Say ‘hi’ to Jerry
for me when you see him," she said without pressing any further.
Nobody, not even Illa Rae, ever cracked more than a nod from a man known
five counties over for his mechanical genius.
Driving
his old Ford down Main, Emerson proceeded as he always did on Thursdays.
First, to the Co-op to buy feed. Next, to the pharmacy for his refill.
Then before the noon siren, he drove to the Country Kitchen where he sat
at the same corner booth next to the front door. There he methodically
plucked one of the laminated menus stacked between the ketchup and the
silver napkin holders and pretended to be interested.
From that perspective, he looked out between the white lettering on the
picture window at the chalk-colored limestone frontage across the
street, where the windows, boarded up with plywood, looked like sad,
tired eyes. There he could see beyond the Co-op grain elevators, those
giant ocean liners riding the land, to the prairie hills meeting summer
clouds.
He managed his routine without too much assault to his system, placing
himself among folks who understood his condition and made his trips to
town tolerable. If Emerson sat too long, he’d get jumpy. Everybody
knew Emerson suffered from acute claustrophobia. That horrible
restlessness in his body.
"Usual, Emerson?" Standing over Emerson’s shoulder, Diane
slapped down eating utensils rolled into a napkin, yanked a pen from an
apron bearing an embroidered, ‘We proudly cook with
Sysco Oil’ and wrote ‘cheeseburger, fries, pie, coffee’ without
confirmation, because Emerson’s order never varied.
Diane made it easy. She didn’t seem to care if Emerson perceived in
ways most people don’t register. It didn’t bother her that Emerson
could hear beyond the gossip at Koster’s groceries, the talk at Pinkie’s
Bar, or the stories swapped between pickup-leaning farmers.
Emerson could always tell with whom Diane was having an affair by how
she poured coffee and pressed her breasts into someone’s shoulder. For
awhile it had been the preacher at the Covenant Brethren Church. Then it
was the president of the Farmer’s Association. Lately, though, she had
been fixed on a rancher from the next county over, who happened to come
to the Country Kitchen for lunch every day. She had kept Del, the
service station manager, hungering for quite a spell now. His winking
and long looks never seemed to faze her.
Opening the weekly newspaper, Emerson pretended to read. It was part of
the strategy. His life revolved around those little strategies. Writing
notes in a refined handwriting instead of making phone calls. Returning
the small engines he’d fixed in the dead of night. Taking the longer
route to town. And retiring to the shed when those city relatives came.
If there were any craving for company, it would be satisfied by his
Thursday trips to town and Sunday church.
He could handle the farmer talk, the back-in-‘72 kind of talk. His
keen memory allowed him to spout staccato responses like punctuation
marks.
"Member that hail storm that got the best wheat crop ever planted
in these parts, Emerson?""Stripped
everything in four-and-a-half minutes at four p.m. on the fourteenth of
June, in 1974," he’d return in a monotone. "What year,
Emerson, was the ground so hard that we broke the plow?"
"In ‘86, we had twenty-two days of over a hundred degree weather
and no rain for over seventy-seven days.
But he couldn’t manage the kind of conversation that rose
unpredictably out of people. He wondered how they did it--how they
talked and joked so. Before the messages could siphon through his
system, he’d lose track.
Emerson downed his hamburger with gulps of coffee in his usual
methodical manner, hoping he wouldn’t have to talk to the regulars who
sat around tables: the city clerk and the city employees, the county
extension agent, area farmers, and the women from Phi Kappa Delta.
Today, like always, he let their conversations drift around him, rubbing
as gritty as sandpaper.
After paying his bill, Emerson lumbered down the sidewalk with an almost
unbearable self-consciousness, carrying on his overalls the smells of
smoke, greasy fried eggs, and sausage patties.
"At first we thought Emerson was just shy," Mary Alice Johnson
told Boomer Patterson, twenty years earlier when Boomer had moved to
town to become the new mental health professional.
"But then he came home from college, walked up the stairs, and shut
the door," whispered her husband, Henry, who wasn’t aware that
his son, Emerson, listened to every word from the waiting room.
"Must have been heck living in that dorm with no social means. That’s
when we lose ‘em, about the time they leave college," replied
Boomer. Emerson heard a heavy thud, the rustling of pages, and the
scratchy sounds of a pen across a pad as he flipped the pages of Field
and Stream.
Emerson’s parents never talked about "the diagnosis." The
undertows served as a conveyance for all sorts of speculation. With
winks and wry grins, the town spoke secrets above Emerson’s head as if
he weren’t there. And the relatives, especially those who were Emerson’s
age, expressed their regret every Thanksgiving. "Damn shame. So
brilliant. Why, he could have been a professor with his double physics
and engineering degree."
Eventually, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson moved to town and left Emerson to the
farm. There, on endless acres, Emerson created dimensions in a world
where all the boundaries had been erased. The farmer lived in his
mechanical mind. In that soothing depth of space, he designed his toys.
The first time Emerson displayed his toys at the County Fair, he made a
life-long friend. A thin, balding man named Jerry discovered Emerson’s
booth at the Open Class exhibition shed. Jerry stood for hours pushing
the buttons, watching the intricate movements of each toy. Bound to
circular motion, the permanent outpatient of the local mental health
center had returned to the fair each day afterward, standing in front of
Emerson’s exhibit, eating popcorn and snow cones and chuckling with
delight. Jerry had followed Emerson like a puppy ever since.
"Just how do you make them toys work? Just how do you make them go
around and around?" Jerry always asked Emerson the same two
questions during the winter months when they sat next to the stove and
the howling north wind tangled the hedges.
Emerson’s reply never differed. "Like this."
While Emerson’s thick, calloused fingers bent wire or turned in rhythm
to gears methodically set to motion, Jerry held the parts in his hands.
Mesmerized, Jerry would watch, trying to capture the sound of cogs in
harmonious synchronization.
"Whish . . . whooo . . . whish . . . whooo," Jerry whistled as steel
marbles rolled backward and forward on wire contraptions, the ball
bearings swerving down paths and activating whirligigs.
There were shelves and shelves of mechanical marvels. Wind-powered
carvings. Toy machines built out of gears from old clocks, electric
meters, and timers. Contraptions held together by gold necklace chains,
pinwheels, and tiny screws, all run on magnetic power.
Each project was displayed on a wooden base enclosed with glass panels.
When ignited by a switch, viewers could see the working conglomeration
of motors, wire, and solder behind the glass. Jerry’s favorite toy, The
Whirring Whirligig, had ball bearings rolling through loops and
spirals on six different tracks. It was a gadget of such intricate
detail. Of such perfect timing. Of such mechanical precision.
In the same exactness as his toys, Emerson lived his days, especially
Thursdays. After lunch at the Country Kitchen, he parked as usual behind
Highway IGA, then sat on the loading dock. No more than a minute passed
before Jerry plunked down beside him, swinging his legs.
"Hey, Emerson." Jerry handed his buddy a cigarette. In the
heat shimmers of a muggy June, the two men surveyed semi trucks rolling
through town, imposing fumes and overpowering even the occasional
breeze. The men played their usual game of describing the load of each
semi.
"Feel it hummin’? It’s spinning out of control," stuttered
Emerson.
"I don’t feel no hummin’, Emerson. Like I says, it’s just me
and my grocery cart. Since I got my drinking under control, I’m gonna
climb high. I like them heights, Emerson. I like to see over them there
hills. I’m gonna climb them old elevator stairs one of these days.
Like I says, Emerson, I’m meant to take risks. Just like the ball
bearings rolling down them tracks on those toys of yours. Just like them
cars that race around and around at the High Banks. Like I says, I do
daring things now that I don’t drink. My brother says, ‘Jerry, you’re
up to something no good,’ he says."
Emerson grinned. He could talk with Jerry like he could no other person.
He could forget feeling crowded. Today, though, Jerry seemed even more
erratic than usual.
"Ain’t this heat a blast from hell, Emerson?" Jerry wiped
his forehead with a red bandana and threw his cigarette stub. Pulling a
comb from his shirt pocket, he ran it through thinning hair plastered
back and felt his pockets for the leather case housing his whetstone and
jackknife. Making sure Emerson watched his every move, he proceeded with
bold strokes to sharpen the blade. "I’m James Dean, I am,"
he told Emerson proudly. "Say, Emerson, when are we gonna start
fixing them engines and putting them toys together?"
"After I get my wheat planted, and I don’t even have this crop
cut yet."
"When them car races at the High Banks are folded up and put away
in September, I’ll be out."
"I’ll . . . I’ll . . . I’ll be waiting."
Persistent uncertainties continued to trouble Emerson as the day wore
into night. Something was up. The farmer acutely felt the subtleties.
After chores, he did something he rarely did. Climbing into his old
Ford, he drove back to town to find Jerry. Sometimes, Emerson found
himself collecting Jerry. Once, he had found Jerry hitching a ride to
Ringville. Another time, Jerry had driven up into Nebraska and gotten
lost. It was as if Jerry needed to be put back together now and then.
Emerson didn’t mingle with Jerry’s friends, the other outpatients
whom the town referred to as "the assembly." However, he felt
a deep-rooted likeness to those who either walked or peddled their
three-wheeled bicycles to the downtown stoop every summer night. He
arrived at the corner of Broadway and Sixth Street where curving
wrought-iron stairs spread below the turret of an old bank. The stoop
lay empty. Sifting through the contents of a nearby trash can, Emerson
found what he had suspected.
Under the glow of the street lamp, he brought close to the rim of his
straw hat each orange pill container, the same type of container he
picked up each week at Kramer’s Pharmacy. Using his index finger, he
underlined the fine print, "Rocky’s Ritalin, Bernices’s Prozac,
Pamena’s lithium, Delbert’s clomipramine, and Jerry Brown’s
monoamine oxidase inhibitors."
Except for pinpricks of taillights circling through downtown, he saw no
movement. No Pamena McBride, smelling of cold creme, strutting down the
sidewalk wearing her latest from Wal-Mart’s Kathy Lee collection. No
Rocky baring his chest. No Roger, Kareem, or Delbert, sitting on their
three-wheeled bicycles, smoking their cigarettes, bragging and arguing
about who did what. No Jerry.
Emerson saw nothing but the occasional flap of an awning and the bank’s
flashing time and temperature sign, enough bulbs missing so it read
nineteen instead of ninety-nine. Stuffing the orange pill bottles into
the pockets of his overalls, Emerson drove north of the tracks to Jerry’s
small trailer. When nobody answered the door, Emerson didn’t know what
to do. He usually gathered clues from the assembly on the stoop. But
tonight even they were missing. After a few agonizing moments, Emerson
decided he’d better visit Boomer.
Brenda Patterson, the on-call mental health professional, better known
as Boomer to those who needed her services, raised her eyebrows when she
finally managed to unlock the deadbolt in her front door.
"Emerson?" Five parakeets chirped in unison as she let him
inside. She patted her living room couch indicating where he should sit,
just as she did when he visited her office for a prescription renewal.
"Is there a problem? Are you ill? Do you need some
medication?"
Emerson felt his cheeks grow hot. He tried to manage some words, but he
couldn’t relay his suspicions. Boomer’s inquiry made him nervous.
For once he fully appreciated her cat, Krinkles, whom she often brought
to the office waiting room for therapeutic purposes. The cat muscled
into Emerson’s lap as he finally managed to retrieve his supply of
empty pill containers.
Boomer’s mouth opened in surprise. "Where did you find
these?" She rattled them under the reading lamp just as Emerson had
under the street light, grabbed her cell phone and realized she wasn’t
properly dressed.
"Good gosh!" she complained into the phone as she pulled on
jeans in her bedroom. "Not only is the town losing it, but even the
nutties are getting nuttier."
Emerson pretended not to hear, knowing Boomer excited rather quickly.
When she had moved to town years ago, she had worried, worried, worried,
calling him several times a week. "Now, Emerson, are you taking
care of yourself properly? Emerson did you take your full dose of
pills?" He was relieved when she finally began to collect antiques
and birds because it kept her busy. Sometimes he got tired of being
fixed.
Disentangling Krinkles once more, Emerson stood and shuffled toward the
door, careful not to knock over Boomer’s porcelain figurines and bowls
of rose potpourri. The parakeets chirped loudly.
"Emmmerson!" Boomer hollered from the hall. "Don’t you
leave! I may need you!" She ran a comb through her perm, grabbed
her purse, shushed the birds and pushed Emerson outside into the hot
night.
"Where the heck are they?" asked one of the cops when the
squad car pulled alongside Emerson’s truck.
"How should I know, Grady?" hollered Boomer, standing with her
hands on her hips and glaring at the cop. "You’re on patrol. You’re
suppose to keep an eye on ‘em. Didn’t you notice ‘em
missing?"
His partner, Jake Gordon, shrugged. "So quiet tonight and such a
scorcher. Never thought to look for a problem." The gray-haired
state champion football player from the class of ‘65 had been on the
local police force for the last thirty years. "Maybe it’s the
moon that’s causing them to be so ornery. Maybe they’re
moonstruck." They searched the midnight sky, but the waxing moon
barely gave off any light, let alone any pull.
"This heat’ll drive anybody mad," said Grady, mopping his
brow. "Right, Emerson?"Emerson
gave him an appreciative nod.
"Let’s round ‘em up." Boomer climbed into Emerson’s
pickup because she knew Emerson would find them faster than anybody.
The cops followed the farmer’s truck to a graveled lot. Retro from the
‘70's drifted through the open door of Pinkie’s Bar and Grill. Rocky
glided between pickups like John Travolta.
"Now that’s a side of Rocky I haven’t seen," said Jake,
appreciating the man’s ability to pull off a fine twirl without losing
his balance.
Grady watched, amused. "He’s got some moves."
"Oh, will you act like a professional?" Boomer punched Grady’s
muscled shoulder. Emerson knew Boomer’s let’s-get-down-to-business
attitude really covered up an attraction for the cop. Jake and Grady
grabbed Rocky in the middle of a slide.
Just
a few blocks from the Our Good Savior group home where they had
delivered Rocky, they found Delbert. His red hair flaming, his underarms
drenched, he stood at the wooden doors of the Baptist church. He held a
Gideon Bible from the Super 8. Dutch elms swayed to his incantations.
Teenagers driving by stopped and snickered.
"For they used to call you ‘The Outcast,’ our booty about whom
no one cares! But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds. It
is Yahweh who speaks," Delbert shouted, pointing upward.
So persuasive his delivery, that Boomer, Grady, and Jake stood for a
minute before shooing the heckling teenagers on down the street.
"Why . . . goodness . . . he’s quite good," said Boomer.
Delbert had backed up against the church doors. "Have buckler ready
and shield: onward to battle! Harness the horses: into the saddle,
horsemen! To your ranks! On with your helmets! Sharpen your spears, put
on your breastplates. What do I see?"
The cops stepped back, remembering if startled, Delbert could pack a
pretty good punch.
"What do we do?" Jake asked Boomer.
Emerson knew Boomer’s mind was spinning from anxiety with all the
syndromes and disorders she was trying to remember.
"Give me room to think," Boomer replied with hostility.
"Let’s see . . . he’s been categorized with panic disorders,
generalized anxiety disorders, mood disorders, depressive disorders, and
expressive language disorders." She shook her head. "Or it
could be side effects from medication or the lack of medication. Or he
could be in withdrawal." Her brows furrowed even deeper.
"Well, he’s certainly showing marked emotional distress,"
she verified to the cops.
Though the rescue team seemed calm, Emerson could sense their
apprehension. He could feel Delbert’s searing agitation, entrapped and
not knowing how to get untangled. Emerson didn’t quite know how he
went past the hardness, the shell he used to shield himself from
encounters and into the vulnerable inside, the part he so seldom used,
the part which required everything he had to muster a voice. "It it
it . . . it is Yahweh who speaks, Delbert." The big farmer swallowed.
"The enemy runs in full retreat. Fleeing headlong."
Delbert shook the Bible, "A curse on the man who puts his trust in
man, who relies on things of flesh, whose heart turns from Yahweh."
Taking off his straw hat, Emerson lowered his head. "A blessing on
the man who puts his trust in Yahweh. Yah . . . Yah . . . Yahweh is his hope. He
is like a tree by the waterside. When the heat comes it feels no alarm,
its foliage stays green."
Delbert’s blue eyes hesitated and a smile relieved his rage.
"Amen Brother. Amen."
"The ways of the Lo . . . Lo . . . Lord are with you, Delbert."
Emerson reached out and took Delbert’s hand.
Boomer, Jake, and Grady looked at each other in disbelief. "First
time I ever heard Emerson say more than a word," said Grady.
After delivering Delbert to the group home, they found Pamena McBride
and Roger Jones across town, holding hands as they walked toward the
highway. Roger, who sometimes sat as rigid as stone, not moving for
hours or uttering a sound, sang a baritone that flowed through the open
windows of the vehicles that followed him.
"Ohhhhhh, she’s my dear. She’s my dear, my darling one."
Roger stopped and gathered Pamena into his arms. "Her eyes are
sparkling full of fun."
Pamena giggled hysterically. "Roger. Roger. Roger."
He crooned, "No other. No other. Could match the likes of her, my
pretty Irish girl!"
"Oh no!" Boomer was opening the car door even before Emerson
had shoved the gearshift into park. "We’ve found them in the
bushes before. I hope Pamena didn’t throw away all of her pills."
She hurried to disengage the lovers.
"Jerry? What about Jerry?" asked Grady after they had driven
Pamena and Roger to separate group homes. "Jerry can be such an
instigator." But lights shone from Jerry’s trailer. When Boomer
looked inside the window, Jerry was placidly watching late-night
television.
After they had collected Bernice, Kareem, Melody, Bea, and Curtis,
Boomer concluded, "Enough. Enough. Let’s call it a night. I’ll
alert the crisis service just in case."
Jake shook Emerson’s hand, "Maybe we ought to put you on the
force, Emerson.""Don’t
remember a night like tonight. This’ll go down in the books."
Grady sipped a Pepsi from Casey’s convenience store. "Guess we
got things under control."
Emerson knew something wasn’t under control. The thought came as he
crossed the wooden bridge on his way home. Tonight was probably just the
beginning.The
sun scoured the sky on the first day of August. Even the cottonwoods
seemed to sweat as Emerson sat at the Flywheels Steam Engine and Antique
Tractor Show in Gem County. He watched a 1920 Rumley Thresher separate
wheat kernels from straw. Today the scratchiness inside his body was not
to be endured, and he began to pace back and forth between tractors, hot
dog stands, and crowds of people.
Emerson had brought his two finest mechanical toys and placed them in
the exhibition shed where all ages gathered. Everybody loved Jerry’s
favorite toy, The Whirring Whirligig. Even more were amazed with
Emerson’s music machine. Circular cylinders, etched and mathematically
calibrated to evoke a tune, rotated congruently, the sound channeling
through hollow cedar.
Standing back against the aluminum siding, Emerson listened to the
comments of bystanders marveling at the ingenuity and delicacy of his
work.
"Look Grandpa! Look what happens when I press the buttons. The
balls roll through six different tracks."
"Now, ain’t that a show, boy!"
"That there toy depends on the driving power of the spring. Lots of
concealed mechanisms in those toys."
"Tell you what, somebody has an ability to work on a small scale.
Never seen anything like that."
"That’s amazing."
"Yeah, that’s one of them there masterpieces. A true mechanical
toy does everything without an operator."
Emerson felt no flattery. Earlier that morning his mother had
telephoned, "Emerson, your cousins from Lincoln are planning to
attend the antique tractor show. Aunt Marlys and Uncle Lib are going to
show them your exhibits. Might be nice to have lunch with them."
Emerson knew his mother never gave up hope.
Making his way to the tractor arena, Emerson sat on the edge of the
portable aluminum risers.
A giant steam engine roared in front of him. Even though the steam
engine was encased, Emerson knew its inner workings: steam
raised in the boiler, routed by the rotary valve, through a pipe, into
the cylinder, driving the piston downward.
In the scope of his peripheral vision, Emerson saw his cousin the
architect and his wife. His body tightened.
"Hello, Emerson," said Robert politely. "Sure enjoyed
your exhibit."
"Really enjoyed them, Emerson. Just fine work," echoed Tamara.
Emerson
nodded.
"So,
what are you up to these days, Emerson?" Robert leaned toward him
in a friendly way.
"Oh
. . ." said Emerson, hating that dreaded question. He shifted
uncomfortably before making a habitual nod, and then another nod,
followed by yet another, trying to keep his appearance on the upside by
focusing on the huge engine. Forcing
steam through a pipe and the rotary valve so that when the piston
reaches the bottom of the cylinder, the rotary valve turns clockwise
ninety degrees.
"Still
plowing those same fields?" asked his cousin. "Still fixing
those small engines?"
"Still
driving that same old pickup, Emerson?" smiled Tamara.
Emerson
kept nodding, "Yep. Yep. Still farming. Still fo . . . focusing."
He meant he was still focusing on the steam engine. The
steam from the boiler entering the bottom of the cylinder in order that
the trapped steam can push through the pipe and the rotary valve which
raises and lowers the piston rod from which the grasshopper beam resting
on the fulcrum can–with its crank and connecting rod–turn the
flywheel.
"Still
focusing?" asked his cousin Robert in confusion. Both he and Tamara
raised their eyebrows.
"Still,
still, still . . . focusing." Emerson replied with another series
of nods.
Robert
winked and gave Emerson an affirmative pat and moved to a seat in the
middle of the bleachers. Emerson pretended not to hear their whispers,
"Poor guy. So brilliant."
All
afternoon, an unending parade of tractors: Oliver Row Crops, Massey-Fergusons,
and McCormick Super C’s, showpieces polished to a sheen, stirred
enough dust to settle in the salty creases of overalls and denim shirts.
Cracked lips sought relief with bottled water. Kids tipped back their
heads and sucked cherry ices, sticky juice running down their necks and
into their hair. It seemed to Emerson a very long day. Everybody agreed
that nobody had invited such overbearing heat.
By
evening a pileup of thunderheads in the west rumbled a warning, giving
Emerson an excuse to pack up. Taking Highway 36, he headed home while
the dark clouds unraveled. Rain pelted the road, asphalt so hot that
vapors rose. The cloudburst was over by the time he reached the
junction. It was strong enough to cool things by ten degrees and fast
enough to push southeast so Emerson could see the tip of a heavy, pink
moon ascend on the eastern horizon.
He
didn’t drive home. He drove to town. Because at some point during that
trip home, Emerson knew Jerry was in trouble. His sweaty palms could
barely hold the steering wheel.
There
were several cars gathered around the stoop. Standing on the rounded
steps that wound up and around like a throne was the assembly, subdued
and sober-minded. They all stood watching the frenzied activity of the
town cops amid flashing lights.
Delbert
had opened his Bible and read gently to his congregation, touching their
shoulders ever so carefully. "No words can ever express. No words
at all. But you know you, there’s a Gideon in every bunch. One in
every bunch. Blessed be the Lord."
Under
the moon glaze, Grady drove Emerson across the railroad tracks and
showed him where Jerry had fallen from the top of the elevator.
"Did
he want to see the kids’ string of red taillights from way up high,
Emerson?" asked Grady.It
was Boomer who decided a memorial service should be held on the stoop
three days later, in the evening after supper, when the air cooled.
"Now,
Emerson, he would have wanted you to," she said at the funeral
home, trying to convince the farmer to read the eulogy. "Nobody’s
going to be there except the gang. I’ll keep it simple. A few facts
about his life on an index card."
Two
days later in the twilight, the funeral home arranged folding chairs for
the assembly. Pamena wore a new dotted-swiss dress, Roger a suit coat
buttoned over his large stomach. They all held carnations.
Emerson
arrived with his index cards. So did the bank president and all the
employees of People’s Exchange; the mayor and his crew from city hall;
the Chamber of Commerce secretary; the entire staffs from Koster’s
Grocery, Kramer’s Pharmacy, and Highway IGA; the women of Phi Kappa
Delta; the insurance people; all the downtown merchants; and even some
teenagers.
"Get
more folding chairs," Boomer instructed the funeral director.
"And a microphone. There must be a least a hundred and fifty out
there." She had forgotten that Jerry had sacked groceries in the
town for more than twenty years.
"Amazing
Grace" played over a speaker. The minister from the Baptist Church
read from Psalms. At eulogy time, Emerson stood and swallowed as he
looked over the rows of chairs filled with people. The microphone stood
waiting. Waiting. No words coming. He stood, his cheeks reddened,
shifting back and forth.
"Oh,
for crying out loud," murmured Illa Rae. "They should have
known better."
The
minister and Boomer, somewhat disconcerted, were about ready to rescue
Emerson, when they heard a sound. Emerson cleared his throat as he tried
to reach way down past the hardness into the soft part. The index card
of numbered facts swam in front of his eyes and wouldn’t sit still.
Those seven facts about Jerry’s life couldn’t speak his emptiness.
They couldn’t tell how it was when he was with Jerry, how he could
look from the inside out instead of the outside in.
Focusing
on a spot across the street, he tried once, then twice to speak the
facts. "J . . . J . . . Jerry. J . . . J . . . Jerry was my bet." Emerson
started over for the third time. "Jerry. Jerry was my best
friend." He sat down. After a long silence, Boomer nudged the
assembly to file to the front and put their carnations in the vase.
The
evening was tender with August warmth and tastes of soon-to-be fall. No
one left. Highway IGA brought chips and dips and soda pop. Townsfolk
from Alma and the surrounding area sat on the stoop or in folding chairs
and visited as dark settled. Delbert was pleased. For the first time, he
had a microphone and a congregation. Readings from Jeremiah drifted like
music in a church with no rooms or doors. Crickets whirred a chorus as
summer aged.
Kids
ran up and down the stoop stairs, chasing fireflies. Folks put their
feet up. Teenagers drove Main.
"Heck,
we used to do this all the time when we were kids. Sit and watch the
stars come out," said Illa Rae.
"Member,
Illa Rae, how we made bracelets with the hind ends of fireflies?"
said Jake.
Illa
Rae laughed. "Member, Jake, when streaking was the thing and your
kid got caught because he ran into my clothesline?"
"I
just might get out my old porch swing and put it up for awhile before
the cold. Kind of miss its creak," admitted Boomer.
Mutt
yelled, "Tristan, are you minding your manners?" Grady, decked
in his police uniform, had Tristan, Mutt’s grandson, by the collar. A
gang of third-graders followed, wanting Grady’s attention.
"Just
making sure, Mutt." Grady gave Tristan a shake. "Just making
sure this kid is staying out of trouble." Tristan tried worming his
way out of Grady’s grip, then he saw Emerson.
"Hey,
my grandpa says that there’s nothing in your head but gears."
Everybody
laughed.
"You
done all right up there, boy," said Mutt, slapping Emerson on the
back. "You done all right. Don’t let anybody tell you
otherwise."
Three
months later at Thanksgiving when his fast-paced city cousins came to
town to hunt pheasants and visit the relatives, they didn’t stop long
enough to notice what Alma residents thought a minor miracle. A change,
well-rooted, solid, and deep. The shiny window across the street from
the Country Kitchen boasted gold lettering: Emerson’s Small Engine
Repair and Toy Gallery. On the window sill sat The Whirring Whirligig.
On
autumn afternoons, Emerson propped open his front door, waiting for Mutt’s
grandson and the third graders. The farmer could always hear Jerry’s
questions in the back of his mind, "Just how do make those toys
work? Just how do you make them go around and around?"
He
would hold the third-graders’ scabby fingers inside his thick,
calloused farmer hands so they could feel the rhythm of cog biting cog.
"Whish . . . whooo . . . whish . . . whooo," they’d say. Shoppers and
downtown merchants often stopped to watch. Never had they felt such
precision of the heart.
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